A reader shared this with you.

The "where everything is" talk

Have this conversation with: the person who would handle your affairs one day. For many people that's the executor named in their Will. For others it's a husband, wife, or adult son or daughter.

Why this matters

Handling someone's affairs after they die is one of the hardest, most thankless jobs you can ask of a person. Many people say yes without understanding what they're agreeing to, and then find themselves facing months of paperwork, legal responsibility, and family politics. While grieving.

If you've named someone and never sat down with them, they'll do their best, but they'll be working blind. Where's the Will? Who was the solicitor? Which accounts exist? What did you actually want? Every unanswered question costs the family time, money, and stress at the worst possible moment.

A person who's been walked through it in advance can do the job with a fraction of the stress. That's what this one conversation is for.

How to open it

Use this as a starting point. Make it sound like you.

Questions to work through together

• Are they still willing? Time passes and life changes, so check.
• Where is the Will stored? Who drafted it, and how do they contact the solicitor?
• Where are the important documents and records kept? Who else knows?
• Is there a backup person, and does the first person know who it is?
• Would money be available quickly for urgent bills, or would things take time? Talk it through.
• Are they comfortable getting professional help from a solicitor and accountant? It's usually too complex to do alone.
• Do they have questions about anything specific, accounts, wishes, special instructions?
• Are there difficult family dynamics they should be prepared for?